I have six brothers and I am sure this is one of them!
Next time, try a comma where you would have placed a period. Have you ever noticed that when a statement is made like: I'm not good at ....(fill in the blank) it's as if there is an unspoken period there? Uh.... that's it? Do you want to get better? Or, “I tried to talk to him and just couldn't get through”. End of communication? How much in our lives do we just accept this as true and don't move beyond it? I bet if your boss forgot to pay you you wouldn't say: yeah, he's forgetful and that's that! I bet there is a comma there.
When I lived in the small community of Halcyon, I was fortunate to have an adorable 85 year old neighbor. My utility bill came to his address because although we were separately metered, we were combined for the total. So, once a month he would knock on my door and present it to me. Every month during the colder times of the year, as he handed it to me he would say: “you know, if you would close the big window blinds at night it would save on your heat.” And every single time for 14 years I would say: “yeah I know, my cord is broken” Period! One day a few months before he died, he came over and said what he always said and I said what I always say and all of a sudden he broke through the barrier to a comma and in a stern voice said: “GET THE DAMN THING FIXED!” I loved him for that, it is one of my fondest memories of Herb. I have been practicing using my comma statements. Here are a few examples: I forgot to pick up the package, I will go back and get it. I don't know how to set up a website, I am going to dive in and set one up. I've never been flexible, I am going to start stretching 10 minutes every day and see if I could change that. I don't like talking on the cell phone, I will pay closer attention to when my energy begins to drop. How many times do we define ourselves and that's that? Fluidity requires openness on our part. I'm also wondering if the period is an unconscious (or conscious) way to not do what we didn't want to do. I forgot, I don't know how, it's just not me, I never, I don't have time, he/she won't let me, etc. It's a way of saying no but without authentic power. I remember one morning as I was preparing to leave for an out of town trip at 5 am, Mark realized that he had forgotten to get gas the night before. I said “that's ok, I go right by the gas station and can fill it up on my way to the freeway.” He put his arms around me and said: “that's one of the ways I enjoy taking care of you, I'll get it.” I experienced his comma as love. Try a comma where you would have placed a period and see what happens. PersistenceThe truth is I haven't written for three months because I haven't disciplined myself for writing. Even as I begin in this moment, my mind is wandering to the kitchen, maybe I should get some coffee before I start, get a little something to eat, return those phone calls. I am fascinated with what the mind will do to sabotage creativity. I promised myself that I would write for one hour on weekdays and that I wouldn't let anything get in the way. I have the timer set. 58 minute to go.
I chose the word persistence from the Ascended Masters Oracle Cards, by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. From 44 cards, I chose persistence! “Stick to your priorities and promises, chip away at your dreams and desires with daily action steps, commit to your dreams for the long haul and through persistent action and positive thinking, your dreams are manifesting into form.” So let's wonder about persistence for a little while. Webster's Dictionary defines it as synonymous with ceaselessness, continuity, continuance, duration, endurance. I enjoy accomplishing goals that require physical stamina and endurance. Preparing and completing the L.A marathon fits perfectly in this category. Picking up the guitar 10 times in 25 years does not. I dream of playing the guitar. What I have come to realize is... it's just that, a dream. When I imagine playing the guitar it's fluid, effortless, beautiful and fulfilling. The reality is.... it is difficult, awkward, un-injoyable and sounds terrible. I could justify the comparisons by pointing out that I like exercise to begin with so setting goals are fun because it is rewarding in and of itself. There's no reward in playing bad guitar. So OK, let's rethink this. My grandson David taught himself to play the guitar over one summer from the computer! A guitar, computer, desire and persistence. He stayed out in the garage in 100 degree temperatures 10-12 hours a day. OMG, is there anything I want that bad? Nevertheless, I think we are on to something here. Let me check my email first...oh, the dryer stopped, better get the clothes out and folded. I didn't check the email but I did stop the timer while I folded the clothes. Next time I will plan better to not be interrupted. I am celebrating that I stayed with it for a full hour. I have been successfully persistent on my first day. Can you relate this to something in your life that started out really hard but in the end through great persistence, is now rewarding? Freewill
In 1997 I attended a 9 day Intensive in Nonviolent Communication along with 50 others from around the world. One evening we did a group exercise where all of us laid on the floor with our head toward the center creating a sunburst pattern. Lights dim, not touching and from total silence we were instructed to chant. Immersed in this tremendous current of sound, I began to experience and imagine some kind of ancient memory of our original bond of unity. Our differences in age, culture, education, gender, history or religion was unimportant in this oneness and I was filled with bliss. And then... one lone voice moved from Om to a quacking duck. Others followed. There were dogs barking, roosters crowing, words and laughter. Soon individual expression was louder than Om. As the room got louder, my own sound got stronger; my body was vibrating and my energy stayed focussed. Slowly, over time, one by one each voice returned to this vast sea of unified sound: Home. Was this a microcosmic experience of our life on earth? I read that the brain needs 20% of our oxygen intake...
I find myself answering the phone a bit more cautiously after several calls in a row bearing difficult news in the last 3 days. It brings up a very important question about how we cope under stressful situations. For me, I tend to go inward until I can get some sense of grounding before I do anything. I do great under serious emergencies but if there is time and space to decide what to do, I freeze vs flight or fight. If I can freeze it even for a little time... in my mind it's as if it is on pause and nothing more can happen until I am ready to hit play. Of course that's not true but it seems to be what I do spontaneously. My husband on the other hand can take action quickly under any circumstances and I am grateful that one of us can. When I think of the options (both positive and negative) that we have available to us to get through something painful, it is astonishing. Of all the ways to deal with stress, the one that stands out most for me is ...breath. I tend to hold my breath when I get anxious or scared. Our mind can be in the past or future but the breath is only in the now. Breath automatically reconnects my mind to this moment...here and now. There is a great website that has a universal breathing room where people from all over the world are breathing together in rhythm. You can choose the color, the amount of time, the intention: health, love, compassion etc., and it has a timer and chime to end the session. If you would like to check it out: doasone.com I welcome your thoughts. "Creativity flourishes in an atmosphere of safety and acceptance." |
|
RSS Feed
